A heartbeat of hope

Today, while sitting in my Grandmother's hospital room... holding her hand while she talks about life I realized something that I know already deep in my soul but that I have a tendency to forget in the hustle and bustle of life and work and responsibilities... life is to be lived... fully... completely... out loud... and in full living colour.  Time is relentless, it marches on whether or not you are fully present and living it and what matters is the people and relationships that are truly "there" for you.  Allowing someone to be in your life in a way that is one-sided is a lot like swimming with your socks on - sure, you can do it... but something about it just doesn't "feel right".  And while you are doing something that feels wrong, you could be missing the chance to have something that feels right.

 At 92 she is still fighting the good fight, trying hard to keep OUR spirits up in spite of the gravity of the situation and the fact that we are there to keep HER spirits up... she has a quick smile and a joke for anyone who walks into the room despite how frail she is and it is a wonder to watch.

As I sat there today and watched the heart monitor count out the beats of my Grandmother's heart (which has been badly damaged by a major heart attack), each beat a sign of life, each beat a reminder that time marches on, each beat a reminder that it is never to late to find love and forgiveness in your heart, each beat a reminder that life is both too long and too short to not be lived in a way that is "right"... each beat a sign of hope. 

She shared with me a poem that my cousin had given her and it brought me to tears, so I share it with you as a reminder that each beat of your heart is a sign of love and hope... and each beat is a reminder that your life is marching on... are you living it?

The Invitation ~ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.